I hate Mondays
I really, really do.
I might even hate Sunday nights MORE...because I know Monday is coming. It's so hard not to stress out, not to think of all the sleep I'm missing, all the tasks I have to accomplish, all the swimming-upstream feelings I might have, all the things I won't be ABLE to accomplish even though they need doing (or, like exercise, are very important but can be put off indefinitely)...
This weekend was pretty good. Except! for the part where Nathan, at the grocery store, in about 3 milliseconds, grabbed a Rolo off the shelf by the cash register and bit into it. As in, he got an entire chunk in his mouth, gulped, and tried to bite my finger when I tried to swipe it out.
Let me repeat that in case you didn't catch it: MY DAIRY-ALLERGIC CHILD ATE MILK CHOCOLATE TODAY.*
Probably not the best way to have a good weekend.
It would've probably been funny and cute if I hadn't been trying not to cry. My husband was much better at this than I was--he could still enjoy the cuteness. And that helped, it really did. It reminded me to take a deep breath and realize that nothing bad is actually happening now. The baby did not throw up right away--nor has he yet. There was some definite fussiness but so far he has seemed fairly normal. Nighttime is usually when the damaged intestines show themselves with constant thrashing, tossing, turning, comfort nursing, and general all-nighter behaviors...but we are not there. Nothing good will come from stressing out about it. I cannot change it. I can only live right now, and right now, nothing bad is happening. Even if I am awake all night long tonight, I can only be present in that moment and it will pass, oh-so-quickly, even though it may feel like an eternity.
These are the things I tell myself. But still, we tend to get angry at each other on Sunday nights, because the stress of the work week is upon us. And that's WITHOUT the dairy incident.
And that's why I hate Mondays. And also, why I'm trying very hard not to.
Wish me luck while I attempt to enjoy the present...
(*I tried to get a list of the ingredients in a Rolo from the Hershey's website, but it was all messed up. Suffice it to say that the first ingredient was milk chocolate, which includes such joys as nonfat milk, milk fat (why do they do that anyway? Isn't that dumb?), lactose (milk) and so on and so forth. Not to mention the crazy chemicals like whatever "PGPR" is.)