Experimenting

James is still trying to figure out what is the most comfortable and appropriate way to sleep on his new bed. This is what he tried out today:

Don't you love how he's actually standing up with that left leg, while his head is lying on our bed but his right leg is still holding on to that new Big Kid bed? 

Classic. Just classic silly J-man. What a goose!

Holy Cow!!

Transition update alert: look what the boy did today during his nap!

That's right, he slept in the big kid bed! Actually, we put him to sleep in the big bed, but in the middle of his nap he woke up and moved himself over to the position you see above, went back to sleep, and slept peacefully for the rest of his usual allotted time.

WOW WOW WOW! So. Cool.

In other news, our computer died, so I'm typing this on our new Mac laptop. What? You didn't know we got a NEW MAC LAPTOP?

Yeah, well. We did. And it rocks almost as much as James putting himself to sleep in his own bed. =) Sweet dreams, everyone!

My brand-new leopard-skin pillbox...bed?

I've mentioned already that James got a new bed. And now I want to tell you all about transitioning into it. You see, the first day we got it, we just covered it with a fuzzy blanket and let the boy play on it. We weren't sure what he'd think of it, but luckily, he was enthralled. He spent hours just sitting on the bed and playing. Here you can see him leaning over the edge, testing out those side rails to make sure they're in proper working order:


So, it was a hit. But we really had no idea when we'd start trying to get him to sleep in it. Well, as usual, he was waaaaaaaaay ahead of us and made his own "transition" one night when we put him to bed in the big bed:


This is James, circa 10 p.m., sleeping half on our bed and half on the toddler bed. Doesn't look too comfortable to me, but hey, what do I know?

And let me just say a couple of things about that picture. First--hilarious! Second--the blanket we had placed on the toddler bed there was taken off, so all that's left is a mattress, and those stains look kinda hinky to me when I see them there in the picture, but in real life? They're pink. As in, most likely juice stains. NOT POO. Just so you know.

Anyway, moving on...soon James was lying in "James' bed" and pretending to sleep. At first he took the big bed comforter with him...

But then we finally got a crib sheet and he had his very own little place to snuggle up and snooze.

He hasn't slept in it all night yet, but he still loves it, and every day we get closer. Maybe some day (some night?) soon I will get to sleep all through the night!

Sweet dreams, everyone!

The Cost of Diabetes

Yesterday was a day of raised voices in the diabetes online community. I'm still really bummed out that I missed it. But I'm here today and I'm here to tell you some of the ways my Type I diabetes affects my life that might not be obvious to an outside observer.

I'm sure you can all imagine that having diabetes can take a toll on my body, that it has physical ramifications. But do you know what some of them are? For example, did you know that every time I get high blood sugar, I feel thick and slow and nauseous for hours? That I sometimes can't eat after a high because I am so queasy? Or after a low, I get a huge migraine and sometimes chills, both of which can last for up to a day? And since the only way to really cure the migraine is to get some sleep, and I can't do much of that ever since I gave birth almost two years ago...I almost always feel vaguely achey and especially headachey. I don't bounce back from illness and general malaise as quickly as I could, because my body is tired out from walking the tightrope of diabetes control.

Along with the immediate physical toll of high and low blood sugars, there's the physical-mental connection I have to worry about. For example, when I check my blood sugar and see a high number, not only do I physically feel bad in the moment, I also worry about the future. Will I lose my sight someday because I didn't manage to keep my blood sugar in range today? What about the feeling in my feet? Is this weird bump I've recently developed on my foot something that my diabetes caused? Is it something I caused by not being careful enough with my blood sugars and/or my foot care?

You can see how this diabetes thing carries some pretty good mental and emotional weight. There's the guilt, and the worry, and they're constantly with you. There's even guilt over having a child--am I somehow dooming him with my bad genes? Will he have to suffer this disease as I do? Will he have to go through the loss of a parent at an earlier age than most? Will he suffer simply because of the burden of my disease, because I'm too tired from my highs and lows to properly care for him at some point? Or because I AM low and can't think clearly? The list goes on and on. But I have to say...at least I CAN have children. At least, if I do manage to stay in control of my diabetes, I believe I have a good chance of living a normally long and healthy life. At least it's not so much of a death sentence as it was only decades ago. So I thank heaven for technology and medicine, even though they can be a curse as well as a blessing at times.

But then I start thinking about things like the state of the economy, with countries already having riots because of the price of food. I think about what would happen if war came inside our borders, or if there was a natural disaster where we lived, or an epidemic. What would I do? How long could I last? When would my supply of insulin run out? How could I live? These are the questions that truly haunt me.

There's another costly aspect of diabetes, and that's the one that affects our bank account. My test strips cost about $1 EACH, and I test, on average, 8-10 times a day. Sometimes I have to use two test strips for one blood sugar reading--which is sometimes user error, and sometimes not, but is always FRUSTRATING!

I take two kinds of insulin, one of which costs about $125 a vial and one about $200, and I use slightly more than one vial a month. I have to buy syringes to take my insulin, lancets to prick my fingers. I have to visit the doctor more often than I imagine the average non-diabetic does, plus have blood drawn every 3 months, and pay for a specialist, the endocrinologist who helps me manage this condition.

Thank goodness for health care, which does help out considerably with SOME of these items. (For example, the test strips end up costing $25 a month instead of...well, you do the math.) But do you know how much my insurance costs? I'll give you a clue. It's not QUITE as much as it would be if I was, say, 65. But it's way more than we can actually afford. And it doesn't cover everything--the glasses I'm wearing are the same ones that got broken a year and a half ago. And we taped them. That's right, I wear taped glasses because I have no insurance to cover new ones.

The point is, it all adds up in ways that outsiders don't know. Our monthly medical bill is a huge proportion of our monthly income. And that is something we will always have to consider. Which leads back to the emotional strain this disease carries with it, day in and day out. There is no cure for diabetes, yet, but there is also no vacation, no break, not a single day that I don't have to consider all of these issues. And that is one of the hardest aspects of this disease, its constant presence, and the need for constant vigilance.

We need a cure. Today!

P.S. That first link up there will take you to a long list of wonderful blog posts of diabetic voice-raising. Here, here, here and here are four of my favorites for non-diabetics to read. The first has some good general information concerning Type I diabetes; the second two are admirably articulate pieces on life with diabetes. The fourth is a powerful call to action about the true cost of diabetes. Enjoy!

Key-Wrap!

James just fell asleep 10 minutes ago.

I feel an inordinate amount of rage at this fact. Why, why, WHY can I never get any sleep? Why can I not manage to do normal things?

I had a diabetes awareness post planned. It was gonna rock your socks off. But that will have to wait for another day....or another week...or another month. I've gotta get some sleep.

But in other news, more pictures are forthcoming, very very soon if The Fates allow it. The Boy got a brand-new big-kid bed!

And no, we didn't try to make him sleep in it. He was up tonight because he's congested. Freakin' pollen and bacteria and stuff. Boo hiss.

Sooooooooooooooo.................sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

A Good Day

I started writing a post in my head this morning, one that complained about what a horrible time I had at the mechanic's today and how it made me sink down into the depths of despair about my whole life yet again...

But then the boys distracted me for a few hours, and when I came back to it, I realized that I had a pretty good day. This was due almost entirely to the fact that James loved on me a bunch and then pretended to do the dishes all day:

SO MUCH FUN! AND DID I MENTION ADORABLE?

It also helps that I got to hold a tiny little sleeping baby (Tyler), and that I learned that I don't have to take care of Zachary any more. HUGE weight off my back, as I've been going back and forth on how to handle that whole situation because I was feeling very burnt out there.

So anyway. I had a pretty good day. How could you not, with this guy by your side?

Note: I cross-posted this on Momabetes, since I'm trying to post there every day this month. Not so easy with both a toddler AND a little tiny baby around most days! ;)

Eggs'n'such

Had planned a fun, cute, waaaaaaaaaay late Easter post, but am so, so tired.

Thus, there will be a series of fun cute Easter pics. But tonight we're going easy on the narration. Here we have James and some of the eggs. Bet you'd never guess that's what this is, huh?


At this point, he was technically not supposed to be going after them yet, but his Mama didn't hear that part of the instructions. (Oops.)

And yes, that is in fact a monkey basket he is carting around and putting the eggs into. That's right, I said monkey basket.


Good night, y'all. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.